Well, it looks like I opened my mouth a bit too soon regarding the weather taking a turn for the better, as no sooner had I said that than the rain returned. That’ll teach me for getting my hopes up! While were talking about getting my hopes up, I seem to be struggling for motivation at the moment, which is never a good place to be. I suppose the weather isn’t helping. You get a tiny glimpse of spring and then the rain returns putting a real downer on things. But, more importantly, and I suppose the real reason for my glum mood, I’ve injured myself! I suspect that as per normal it’s an overuse injury, but whatever I’ve done it’s putting a stop to my running and hanging there like a niggling doubt, eating away at my resolve to keep pushing on. A couple of weeks ago I knelt down in the van on my left knee and felt a real sharp stabbing pain, deep in the lower front of the joint. Initially I thought I’d just moved wrong, but the next day whilst on the floor stretching, the pain was still there. Walking and cycling was fine, poking it around was fine, but kneeling down with my weight pushed forward, well that hurt a lot. I had a couple of rest days and then ran The Cerne Giant Ultra last weekend with no real issues. That pain was still there when I knelt down though, and it wasn’t going away! A bit of Googling (I know, that’s not what you’re supposed to do) suggests a few possible reasons, all of which are related to overuse. Which would make sense considering the abuse I tend to put my body through. Knowing what’s wrong with it doesn’t really help though, what I need to know is how to get better, but I know that the first thing any doctor or Physio is going to say is “stop doing the things that make it hurt” so it makes sense to do just that and see what happens in the next couple of weeks and go from there. The problem is, if I don’t keep doing something than I’ll go mad, so I’ve cut out the thing which tends to do the most damage and puts the biggest load through your knees, running! I’ll give it a few weeks and see what happens, if it’s no better after Easter then I’ll book some Physio, but at least by then I’ll be able to say “not running’s made no / some / lots of difference) and I might have a better idea what caused the issue in the first place (apart from doing too much). None of that’s helping with my mental health though. Having that nagging doubt sat in the back of your mind saying, “this might be the end of my running career” “what if it never gets better” gnaws away at you like a headwind (more of which later) and makes you wonder if all the hard work and training miles were worth it. If I can’t run, then there’s nothing to stay fit for. If I’m not running then there’s no need to get up early, so I might as well have another beer, and so the downward spiral begins. None of which helps on the motivation front. So, at the end of the day, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, find something else to focus my attention and efforts on for a few weeks, whilst my knee hopefully magically fixes itself and then go from there, which unfortunately is easier to say than do. On the positive side, I happen to have a little household project up my sleeve for the Easter period. Mind you, it might not be the ideal project when your knees already hurt, but it doesn’t involve running or cycling silly mileages, so should give those tired muscles a bit of a break. What have I got planned? Well, you’ll just have to wait and see. But what I will say is that when “The Emma” mentioned it to some of her workmates, they all unanimously said “Is he nuts, there’s no way I’d take that job on” and I’ve just mentioned my plans in the office here and got the same answer! Right, now that I’ve got that off my chest (or should that be knees) what have I been up too this weekend? Well, obviously I haven’t been running, but there’s other ways to get out and about, namely cycling and to that end Saturday saw me lined up bright and early for the London - Oxford - London 200Km Audax.
That’s 130 miles of bicycling fun, starting from Ruislip on the outskirts of London, before heading out to Oxford through the Chiltern Hills and via a small excursion out towards Aylesbury just to add a few miles. From Oxford it’s just a case of back along the other side, Abingdon, Didcot, Wallingford, a brutal descent and immediate long climb at Chinnor and then a few easier miles back to the start. And what’s not to like about that? Well, I’ll tell you what’s not to like about that, a howling head wind all the way to Oxford is what’s not to like about that! No, I’m being unfair, that’s all part of the game, and I’ll get onto the howling head wind in a minute, but first, my lack of desire to go out to play. I don’t know why, but my head and heart just weren’t in it when I got up on Saturday morning. As I sat in the van having a brew and eating my breakfast, I could hear the wind whistling round the skylight and looking upwards the sky looked dull and dreary. I dragged myself to the start (almost literally) and collected my Brevet card, but was already having serious thoughts about continuing, and I hadn’t even started yet! From the off, the terrain was what I would call lumpy, not hilly enough to make it hard going, but lumpy enough to keep you working in order to make any progress, a situation which wasn’t helping with my low mood. Within a few minutes of setting off I was already looking for reasons to stop and slink back to the start. “I’ll just do an hour, then find somewhere to get a brew and turn round” at least I’ll have got a few miles in, and my day won’t have been a complete waste of time. As I headed out from the outskirts and suburbs of London and crossed the M25 things improved a little. Moving from the urban sprawl into open countryside gave me something to look at and the reduced traffic made it a bit easier to relax, but I still wasn’t enjoying myself and every meter gained seemed like a mental battle not to stop and just go home. Eventually though, that first hour that I’d set myself as an initial target passed, and with the sun now shining, maybe things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Maybe, I’ll push on to the first control, have a brew there and then head back, I’m halfway there now, so that seems like a reasonable day out and a good plan. Coming through Wendover I passed the train station and my mind was transported back to the early summer morning in 1990 when I’d arrived by train at that very spot, excited, nervous, and apprehensive, ready to start my RAF Trade training as an Aircraft Technician at RAF Halton. Wendover looked familiar from that fateful day all those years ago, and the train station looked exactly the same, the scene of desolation that unfolds as you climb out of Wendover where they are forcing the new HS2 trainline through the countryside, less so, but I guess that’s progress, and people probably said the same about the building of the canal’s all those years ago. With memories of my early RAF Career, a decision which has undoubtedly shaped my life ever since and lead on to a million other adventures filling my mind, the next few miles passed in a blur and before I knew it the quaint windmill at Quainton appeared in my peripheral vision, along with the first control point. Stood in the spring sunshine, sheltered from the wind, things didn’t seem as bad as they had first thing in the morning and all thoughts of quitting seemed to have slipped from my mind. “I’ve got this far; I might as well just carry on now”. A decision that I instantly regretted 2 seconds later as I rolled back out of Quainton straight into a howling head wind. I’ve said it before but the wind just grinds you down. It makes what should be a good day out a tiring slog. It’s an invisible and never-ending force trying to push you backwards and before you can move forward you’ve got to expend enough energy to overcome that force. When it’s in your face as it was all the way to Oxford it’s hard going and there’s no respite. On the flat it’s trying to stop you moving forwards, on the hills it’s adding it’s force to the force of gravity that your already trying to overcome, and as for having to pedal downhill to make any progress, well don’t get me started on that one. Finally though the spires of Oxford appear on the horizon along with another reminder that warmer days must be on their way when I get the first abuse of the year shouted at me from a car window for having the temerity to be on what is obviously their road. It’s strange how this doesn’t seem to happen in the depths of winter when everyone’s got their windows shut, but as soon as it warms up enough to roll your window down, shouting abuse at cyclists seems to be popular pastime. Minutes later as I work my way through Oxfords busy Saturday lunchtime traffic I get another reminder of the joys of cycling when I get another mouthful of abuse for not stopping and getting out of another motorists way, despite it clearly being my right of way and there being more than enough space for both of us to proceed without stopping anyway. Ahh the joys of life on the road! Just to rub salt into already open wounds the headwind that I’d been counting on becoming a tailwind after Oxford continued all the way to Didcot. That wasn’t the end of the world though, I’d got this far and I wasn’t going to stop now. Finally, after Didcot we turned out of the wind, just in time for the afternoons climbing to start! I’d rather go up hill than into wind though, so I’m not complaining, and anyway there’s always a good view from the top of a hill and today certainly didn’t disappoint in that respect. The views across Oxfordshire from the hilltops after Watlington were as stunning and far reaching as they always are, making the effort of getting up there more than worthwhile. And then it’s onto the home stretch, just another 30 or so miles on tired legs. Through High Wycombe, skirt around Beaconsfield and then through the Colne Valley to head back to the start as afternoon turns towards evening. Another 200Km done, on a strange day, my heart and head really weren’t in it in the morning, but once I’d started getting a few miles in things turned around and I actually had a really enjoyable day. Yes, I struggled in the wind, but that’s part of the game and it’s always a demoralising slog when the winds in your face, and at this time of year it’s not an unusual occurrence. I think we’ll put this one down to experience and see what next weekend brings, hopefully I’ll have cheered up a bit by then, and it would be nice if the weather would too, I’m supposed to be doing a 300K and I really don’t fancy another 17 hours in the rain!
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Paul PerrattOld enough to know better, young enough to still feel invincible, stupid enough to keep on trying the same thing again and again. Cyclist, Gardener, Runner, Hiker, Cook, Woodworker, Engineer, Jack of all trades and master of none, Anti social old git and all round miserable bugger. Archives
March 2024
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