More bad news everybody. No, the vans still working and I've just changed the gearbox oil, Thermostat and leaky radiator, in the bangernomics Peugot and that's running a treat too. You wouldn't believe the difference that draining 1.2 Litres of black sludge out of the gearbox and replacing it with the correct 1.9 Litres of proper oil made, it's like a new car. So what's the bad news then? Well, I'm between projects, which means that I've got nothing better to do than get annoyed and think up long rambling blog posts while I'm out running or cycling. Normally, all of that brain power is taken up trying to solve some problem or another, like figuring out how to get a half Ton van engine off a pallet and into the van when all you've got is a bit of rope and an E Bay engine crane that won't fit over the pallet. But, I digress again. So what am I ranting about today? Well, how about "get off the road bike wa**er" or "why don't you use the cycle path you to**er". Well, todays your lucky day (or possibly unlucky) as I'm going to tell you why, and the first thing I'm going to say is, because in general cycle lanes are not fit for purpose. For a starters lets have a look at dual use cycle paths (cyclists and pedestrians). Now, I'm no Chris Froome, in fact I'd be hard pushed to keep up with Miss Daisy, but I can maintain a reasonable average speed, across a fair distance. In fact, over the last 6 months, my average speed on my commute to work, has been 15.3 mph. Not fast by any stretch of the imagination, but if you think that's an average speed and for long periods of my journey I might only be doing 10 mph into wind or uphill, that must mean for an equally long period I'm doing 20 mph. So do we really think, that I should be cycling on the pavement, with the children, dog walkers and people wandering along watching a film on their phones? Or would I be better off doing 20mph on the road with the lorries and cars. I'll let you ponder that one, whilst I move on to my next favourite subject. Infrastructure; Now, there's a few of these, so lets start with an easy one. Cycle paths that just disappear; Now these are pretty common. There will be a big arrow painted on the road, directing cyclists off onto a path, and the path will carry on for a short distance and then either just abruptly end. Or, just as likely, direct you straight back onto the bit of road that you were on 10 seconds ago. Now what the bloody hell is the point of that, I might as well have just carried on along the road. Sometimes, these ones have a special trick up their sleeve too and will be combined with another favourite. They direct you off the road, take you down a side street for a few yards, make you get off to cross the road and then direct you back onto the road you were already on on the other side of the junction. Pointless! How about this one, the magic "change side's of the road for no reason". There you will be, happily following the cycle path and then for no explainable reason, except for the paths better on the other side of the road, your directed to cross the road. So you fight your way across a couple of lanes of traffic, continue happily on your way for a few hundred yards, and repeat the process again back to the other side! I mean, how is fighting your way across a couple of lanes of fast moving traffic possibly safer than being on the road in the first place? Sometimes, you can be happily traveling along the path, get directed to the other side and then left in no mans land. In the picture below, taken from my commute, I'm directed to the opposite side of the road, and I'll hasten to add that there's a traffic light controlled crossing 100m before the change in direction. But, I need to go left at the roundabout in another 100m and now I'm stuck on the wrong side of the road and the wrong side of the roundabout. I'll ask again, how is that sensible infrastructure or safe? And what about this for a peach. The stop at every junction whilst the road running alongside carries happily on it's way. So, you'll be on the cycle path, following alongside a road with priority and at every junction where another road joins from the side, the cyclist has to stop and give way before crossing. Surely they could just move the give way markings on the joining road back a bit, meaning that the joining traffic also has to give way to cyclists travelling in the same direction as the main road. If you consider this in an urban setting, where there can be roads joining every few meters, your constantly stopping. It's a wonder anyone uses theses abominations, you'll never get anywhere stopping every 50 yards, let alone average 15mph. And I've saved the best one till last. The "Cyclists Dismount". So, there you are, happily plodding along your cycle path and you get to a junction and I'll hasten to add that these are often seen in conjunction with the stupidity above, and your directed to not only give way to the car traffic crossing the cycle way, but get off and walk across. Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but I've never come across a road junction that says "Drivers, turn off your engine, get out and push your car across" have you? To be honest that might be a good idea and get some of the stupidly big cars off the road. Sorry little old lady, but your going to have to push your 4x4 across here. Although, I'd guess that some of the lorry drivers might have something to say about it! Altogether now "Push"! So there's just 3 examples and we haven't even touched on most of the problems. How about bollards, anti motorbike gates and defences, street signs in the middle of the path because they can't go on the road, smashed glass, overgrown hedges, verges and bushes, potholes, unsuitable path surfaces, massive puddles. What about people parking across the cycle path? Paths that take you off all around the houses instead of following the direct route (I'm looking at you National Cycle Network), paths that go nowhere, paths that end up in pedestrian precincts and paths that just spit you out onto some bit of wasteland with all the murders and fly-tippers. And that's before we even consider the 99.999999999% of roads that haven't even got a cycle path along them! Now, in fairness, I've got to admit that occasionally you do come across a good bit of cycling infrastructure that's a pleasure to use, and unsurprisingly, lots of cyclists use it. Let's take a look at this horrible roundabout on my way home, it's an absolute nightmare to drive round, so the thought of taking too it on my bike fills me with dread. Not to worry though, the forward thinking town planners installed a subway system under all the roads. Good old forward thinking 1960's town planners, you can have a pat on the back for that one. You approach the roundabout on the road, come off onto the path just before the junction, slow to a stop to negotiate the barriers on the path (good design as it's also a pedestrian path) cross under the road, go across the middle of the roundabout, cross under the road on the other side and re-join further down. Bloody brilliant and a life saver, why aren't there more like that I hear you ask. Well, I'll let you in on a little secret shall I. This ones only still here because Covid has delayed the road modernisation plans to increase the size of the roundabout to ease traffic congestion. And guess what, in order to increase the width of the roads the subways are being filled in and replaced with traffic light controlled pedestrian crossings on the road entries. Now how the F***K is that safer or making the traffic flow better? In order to get home your going to have to stop the traffic on 3 major roads and wait to cross, instead of just sailing serenely underneath whilst the traffic flows calmly over your head. Brilliant, free flowing traffic and cyclist segregation. That's how it should be. It's a shame then that this is going to be removed in order to make the road wider, whilst installing traffic light controlled crossings at the entry to each roundabout junction, meaning the free flowing traffic will now have to stop every time someone wants to get across. Brilliant! So you want to know why no one uses cycle paths and would rather risk their own lives on the road? Well, maybe that's given you a little insight. No one want's to be mixing it with 40 ton lorries and idiots in 4x4's playing with their phone's, or arguing with the wife about the repayments instated of concentrating on where they are going. But, if you want to actually get anywhere, you haven't got a lot of choice, until they actually get a grip and sort out the infrastructure!
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Paul PerrattOld enough to know better, young enough to still feel invincible, stupid enough to keep on trying the same thing again and again. Cyclist, Gardener, Runner, Hiker, Cook, Woodworker, Engineer, Jack of all trades and master of none, Anti social old git and all round miserable bugger. Archives
March 2024
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